Currently In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003 By R.E.M. At My Most Beautiful see related

I can't breathe

My insomnia grabs the best of me this evening, or shall I say, morning. This time I believe it for a better than reason than most. I can't get him off my mind.

This passing Spring Break has been the very best I've ever had. While visiting a graduate school in New York, I had the opportunity to spend the week with a long-time friend, Chris. Knowing each other for five years now, we've expressed interests and favor for one another at times, but never pursue anything. We met online, simple as that. How shall one pursue a deeper relationship with another if there is no physical face-to-face contact? You can't, don't even try! Chatting and pictures only go so far, reality can still be altered even with that.

Meeting Chris filled in the gaps, but I never imagined he'd make such a lasting impression. Yes, I had an idea of him in my mind, and though I said I'd hold no expectations, there was a hope of hitting it off in the back of my mind. I prayed I wouldn't worry about that. Focus on what's important, grad school, and deepening a friendship. But after this week, we both didn't desire returning to plain jane online friends. There is something between us I can't understand at this moment. It's exciting and scary at the same time.

So we're long distance courting. Cool huh? I'd say so, but it requires an amount of patience that may be trying at times. This patience I can only learn from God. My heart also seeks God's wisdom on the whole relationship. Numerous times I've went off on doing things without ever consulting God on the matter. He is who I've committed as the center of this relationship. Wherever this relationship between Chris and I goes, I want it to be honoring to God. He is first and foremost a brother and fellow servant in the kingdom of God, this is what matters to me the most.

Finally, my eyes are drooping. I knew blogging would help bring my slumber. Grace and Peace to all my readers!

In Christ,

Buffy

Currently The Cost of Discipleship By Dietrich Bonhoeffer see related

You may say I'm a dreamer....

I can't imagine what this time next year will be like. I hate days when my future appears so dim as it hurriedly approaches. These are the days when I should trust God the most, and I do, yet at times I fail. Air raids of stress have that effect.

I can't believe who I am today, and more so, I can't believe who I was when I started this pursuit of education.

So today I listen to an excerpt from Dietriech Bonhoeffer's, Cost of Discipleship. I own this book, but haven't read through it entirely. Dr. Spross read aloud in class Bonhoeffer's view of cheap grace. What struck me the hardest was how cheap grace is considered (summarized): offering forgiveness of sins to all without requiring repentence, leading people to Christ without discipleship, communion without confession. These were only a few things Bonhoeffer considers as cheapened grace.

I think about my time in Germany over the summer. I remember how my mission team went out daily inviting people to a tent service. Not only did I confront a language barrier, but I was slightly nervous letting people know it was a "Christian" event. A couple times I spoke with strangers in my broken German about how "we're having a fellowship dinner, you're welcome to come," and that's all. With this, I felt as though I was hiding the Truth. I wasn't ashamed of the life giving Gospel, but had this fixed idea that people wouldn't come if they knew.

Then the Holy Spirit checked me...why hide what people want? People hear lies every single day of their life, why deprive them of the truth they are beckoning to hear? In this, I felt as though I cheapened grace in some way by disgusing or watering down the truth.

How does this apply to what Bonhoeffer is saying? Grace is costly...it cost our lives. In order to be used as a means of grace to lead the lost, we must not sell ourselves out by fearing the reaction of others or the lack of confidence in sharing with others. We should be open Christians, not sugar coating the Gospel for the sake of numbers, but for the sake of humanity's existence and relationship with God in his kingdom!

Sorry if I've lost anyone, I promise it tied together in my mind.

Currently Listening Bleeding Love By Leona Lewis see related

Awh, wow, stomach hurts, eyes are heavy, and it will all be over next Wednesday at 2pm. Praise God! Four years of college under my belt and still one more semester left to go, maybe two. I hope not. Life has been a theme park the past couple of weeks with my classes. Typical stress that occurs around this time of the year. I'm very happy to report I made excellent grades on two of my major papers. I got an 86 on my 23pg exegetical project on Luke 18:18-30. For those who don't know what an exegectical project it, you pretty much take a passage out of the Bible, look behind, within, and in front of it with lost of commentaries, dictionaries, concordances, lexicons, etc. My second paper, a 13pg case management paper for counseling class, was an 84! I'm usually a C student when it comes to papers, but now I'm a B student...haha, B for Buffy. Now I pretty much have to finish a 6-8pg theological essay due Friday, 2- four pg reflection papers, journal entries, and 3 one page responses by Friday. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! But I will make it, yes indeed. 

So I thought I'd post a couple pictures from the past couple of weeks. I've had some exciting things happen with TNU Banquet and Spring Break. Little FYI, today makes a month since Eric and I became official. *sigh,* I know, it's so girlie to keep count, but it excites me....I really like him!

When Eric picked me up for the Jr/Sen Banquet. He's so dreamy!

A couple of my girlfriends and the Trevecca's President, Dr. Dan Boone.

Since there wasn't dancing at the banquet, we met up with my friends Scarlett and Josh and went swing dancing. Loved it!

Girls from my hall at my dorm's end of the year banquet, Johnson Hall Soiree'

The BEST ROOMMATE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!  

My best guy buds and I at the Purity Ice Cream factory over Spring Break. Adam's on the rump!

My best friend Susan and I at the Frist Museum!!! Those were concrete balls. I have no idea of their purpose.

But yeah, nothing much more to say. Summer is very soon, and I can't hardly wait any longer. I've written out obtainable, reasonable goals for the summer and intend on keeping up with them. The hardest part for me I've discovered is when I fail one day, I feel horrible, and often give up. Really trying not to do that anymore. Lately I've set small goals and reached them, it's very motivating. I'll keep everyone updated. Please remember me these next couple week during finals. Blessings my friends!

Buffy